Death Jokes

Guy robs a bank

Jaco4life — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 07:21:56 +0200

One day a guy walks into a bank and robs it. He then turned around and asked the person "Did you see me rob this bank?", the person says "Yes". The robber shoots him. The robber then turns around to see a man and his wife, he then asks them "Did you see me rob this bank?". The man says "I didn't but my wife did!".

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper...

boloo2 — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:02:39 +0200

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"

"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are you callin' from?"

Why do Irishmen always go home for funerals?

boloo2 — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:01:47 +0200

Q: Why do Irishmen always go home for funerals?

A: To make sure it's not them who has died.

I hear Murphy died...

boloo2 — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:01:06 +0200

"I hear Murphy died," said Pat. "Was he ill long?"

"No," said Mick. "He died in the best of health."