Sport Jokes

sport joke

downhillbikers — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:46:54 +0200

Q:Why don't Viking players jump into the stands?

A:Because empty seats hurt.

running back and linemen joke!!

downhillbikers — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 18:29:27 +0200

A football coach was asked his secret of evaluating his new recruits. "Well," he said, "I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that run round the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run straight into the trees, I turn into linemen."

I Said the F Word

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:49:23 +0200

A guy goes to his local church during the week to see the priest and confess his sins. He goes into the confessional box and says, "Father during the week I said the F-word."

The priest says, "Well my son, say 3 Hail Mary's and your sins will be forgiven."

The guy however was quite eager to explain to the priest why he had used the F-word and grudgingly the priest agreed to listen to his explanation.

"Well I was playing golf last Sunday instead of coming to church," said the guy.

"Is that why you said the F-word?" the priest asked. read more »

Blind Golf?

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:48:22 +0200

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning at the
third tee (par 3, 185 yards, slight dog leg to left, water hazard on
the right) while a particularly slow group of golfers were flailin away ahead of them.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We've been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!
Priest: Hey, here comes the green keeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they? read more »

Tiger Woods vs. Stevie Wonder!

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:47:03 +0200

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.

Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a round.
When Tiger agrees, Stevie asks, "How about if we play for $100,000?"
Tiger insists he couldn't possibly play him for money because of his sight handicap. read more »

A Round of Golf

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:46:39 +0200

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." read more »

Golf "is" a Drag!

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:46:18 +0200

Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably.

The other three gathered around him and asked: Whats wrong? Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. Im sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me.

One of his buddies asked: What happened? What could have gotten you so upset? read more »

Golf Genie

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:45:40 +0200

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course,
lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said,
"Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any
windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."

The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the
biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on read more »

No sex for an eagle!

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:44:19 +0200

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." read more »

Da Bears

boloo2 — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:44:03 +0200

Why is Chicago called the Windy City?

Because the Bears blow!