Kids & Family Jokes

Be quite at church

amrita — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:24:18 +0200

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”

http://www.funeskape.com/jokes/?go=cats&cat=Childrens%20Jokes

what first

downhillbikers — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:37:17 +0200

you have a match, so what would you light first? the oven, a candle, or a fire.

answer: you would have to light the match first!

hole in one

jjd2000 — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 08:15:05 +0100

?:Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants.

A:Incase he got a hole-in-one

barbie

ifjgd — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 13:58:44 +0200

if barbie aint a slut y do i ave to pay for her boyfriend???

3 kids go flying

tomodinio — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:31:11 +0200

there are 3 boys called jimmy timmy and willy . they are in there dads plane and are boared so they dicede to throw things out of the door over there hometown , shitwiell.
jimmy throws down a book . then timmy throws down a brick. and then willy throws down a bomb. read more »

abc i need a pee

tomodinio — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:26:07 +0200

littel jimmy puts his hand up in class to go to the bathroom . first you have to say the alfarbeat.
so he goes abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
you miss the pee wheres the pee .
running down my leg replies jimmy!

go 2 sleep

tomodinio — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:23:21 +0200

littel jimmy is send to bed by his dad
5 minutes later: daddddd can i have a glass of water . no son lights out.
5 minutes later: daddddd can i have a glass of water . no son lights out next time if
you ask ill have to spank you.
5 minutes later . dadddd when you spank me can i have a glass of water!

collage hey.

tomodinio — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:19:30 +0200

why did the thmomerter go to collage .
a: to get a degree

Where is God?

kris — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:11:38 +0200

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. read more »

You want children?

boloo2 — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 13:56:54 +0200

Are You Ready for Children?

Mess Test: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Toy Test: Obtain a 55-gallon box of Lego's. (If Lego's are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.) read more »