A black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was hauling ass around a corner with no headlights on, no dome light, no lights on at all. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the cow. How did the guy see the cow?
It was daytime
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To reach his Nay-borhood.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he had no body to go with.
Why did the one-handed skeleton cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop!
Why did the fish cross the sea?
To get to the other tide!
Why did the fish cross the river?
To get to its school
In a School science class four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar full of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar full of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar full of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar full of soil.
After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol - died.
The second worm in the cigarette smoke - died.
The third worm in the sperm - died.
The fourth worm in the soil - was alive.
So the science teacher asked the class - "What can you learn from this experiment." read more »
Osama and Saddam are walking through a desert when they come across a fence where a goat has his head stuck.
Saddam looks at Osama, Osama looks at Saddam and Osama smiles, drops his pants, and starts goin to town with this goat, just tearin' his ass up. After Osama is done, he says, "Alright, Saddam, your turn."
And Saddam drops his draws, grabs his ankles, and sticks his head in the fence.
Once upon a time, there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road the the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying ifeless in the middle of the road, was the Easter Bunny.
The man cried out, "Oh no! I have committed a terrible crime! I have run over the Easter Bunny!" read more »