you might be a redneck if....

If the tires on your truck cost more than your truck then you might be a redneck.
If you ask someone what the number to 911 then you might be a redneck.
If you have to hotwire your truck because you cant find the keys then you might be a redneck.
If you get yelled at because you type to slow then you might be a redneck.
If your dad walks you to school because your in the same grade then you might be a redneck.
If your too drunk to fish then you might be a redneck.
If you ever cut your grass and find a car then you might be a redneck.
If you have to use a leg from a table as a sifter for your truck then you might be a redneck.
If you have to use a 10foot ladder to get in your truck then you might be a redneck.
If you are to drunk to drive and you spend the night in your truck at the bar and the next day when you get home and get yelled at by your wife because you did not call and let her know where you were that night then you might be a redneck.