Upmanship

An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life.

Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.

Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.

Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!