stuck

my wife slipped stepping out of the shower did the splits and screamed out, i came running in but could'nt get her up her fanny was suchioned to the floor, i rang my handyman mate who said "i'll get a hammer and chisel and be over in 5 mins" i said "what the f****" he said "i got to crack the tiles to break the seal" i said "ok,i'm gonna lick her ear and play with her boobs while i'm waiting" he says "why?" i told him i just put new tiles in there and if i get her wet maybe we could slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are old.