Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant.
Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".
Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a b*tch" mean.
Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest".
Next day he comes home a asks what does "f*ckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed".
That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.
He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a b*tch, sh*ts on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuc*in'".