School Joke

One day a kid goes to the teacher and says
KID: "Miss Can I Go To The Toilet"
TEACHER: "Yes but first you have to say the alphabet"
So He Says the alphabet.
KID: "A b c d e f g h i j k l m n o _ q r s t u v w x y z"
TEACHER: "Wheres The P"
KID: "Its Running down my leg miss"

A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!"
The teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?"
The little boy says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence."
The teacher replies, "Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little boy then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.  read more »

The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use a word in a sentence. Today's word is "beautiful". Little Sally, would you please come up here and use "beautiful" in a sentence?"

Little Sally walked to the front of the room, thought for a moment and said - "Teacher, my mom is the most beautiful woman in the world."
Teacher says, "Very good, Little Sally, you may sit. Little Frankie, your turn."  read more »

The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories.

First Pupil: "I visited my Nana."
Teacher: "Please use adult words, you visited your Grandmother."

Second Pupil: I had a ride on a choo-choo."
Teacher: "Please, you had a ride on a train."

Third Pupil: I read a whole book by myself for the first time."

Teacher: "Excellent. And what was the name of the book?"

Third Pupil, with a big grin: "Winnie The Shit!"

The teacher of the fourth grade class was giving an English lesson:

"All right class, I want everyone to write a sentence which starts with a question and ends with an answer and has the words possible and definite in it!"

All at once, young Johnny's hand shot up.

"Miss! Miss!" called Johnny.
"Write it down, Johnny!" said the teacher.
" ... But Miss! Miss! Miss!" Johnny intoned.

"I said write it down!" exclaimed the teacher who was now quite peeved.
"Miss! Miss!" called Johnny once more.
"Okay, Johnny. I give up. What is it?"
"Is it possible that farts have lumps in them?"  read more »