Religion Jokes

An atheist went to see a shrink because he was depressed. One oppointment the shrink was saying to the atheist:
"Now for today's session I want you to look deep down into your heart. Try to feel your inner feelings. What do you feel?"
The Atheist looked up sheepishly and said "nothing."
Pause...

"...Oh that's right! I forgot you were an atheist."

Q. How many atheists does it take to screw on a light bulb?

A. one

Q. How many Christians does it Take to screw on a light bulb?

A. none....They know that you can just flip the switch to turn it on instead of changing the bulb every time someone turns the light off!

Q. What's the difference between an atheist and a stubborn,miserable, foolish, ignorant and unhygienic person?

A. The atheist may not be unhygienic.

Q. Why did the atheist keep riding his bike when he saw a cliff coming up?

A. He thought he'd evolve and grow wings whilst he was falling!

When little kids go to bed they wear pajamas with superman on them.

When superman goes to bed he wears pajamas with Chuck Norris on them.

When Chuck Norris goes to be he wears pajamas with Jesus on them.

Q. How many Jews does it take to keep a fire going?
A. 6 million

a wee catholic boy was out playing when he found a union jack, he put it around his neck and ran inside to show his mum, 'look mum, look i'm a protestant now' his mother took 1 look at him and slapped him then she sent him to his dad who also slapped him who then took him to his granda who also slapped him.  read more »

This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service
bloopers:

* Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High".

* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

* Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.  read more »

Grandma writes:

The other day I went to the local religious book store where I saw a "Honk if you really love Jesus" bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.
I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection, just lost in thought  read more »