Men & Women jokes

One day a kid asked his mom if he could take a bath with her. She said ok as long as you don't look up or down. He looks down "mommy whats that" thats my pond said the mom. Then he looked up what are those? there my 2 front headlights. The next day he asked to take a bath with his dad he said ok as long as you don't look down. So he looks down and says daddy whats that? Thats my fishing pole.  read more »

johnny walks in to the bathroom whenn mummy is in the shower and sees her breasts and vagina so he askes what is that mummy so the mum says it is a bush. then he askes what are those mummy so she says there headlights son. then johnny sees daddy in the shower and sees his penis and dad says it is a snake.  read more »

yo mama so fat when she walk the floor bounce

yo mama so poor she only takes a bath when it rains

Once this fat woman went to the movies and asked an innocent man "Is this seat taken?" and he said "No, your fine!" So then she sat down and the man went BOOSH!!!! 40 feet because the obese woman managed for her belly to smack him across the room! "OUCH! Hope he didn't die!" The woman said. (Started out as a comic!)

What's the diffrence between a bar of chocolate and a vibrator?
One's good for you the other is just for show

my wife slipped stepping out of the shower did the splits and screamed out, i came running in but could'nt get her up her fanny was suchioned to the floor, i rang my handyman mate who said "i'll get a hammer and chisel and be over in 5 mins" i said "what the f****" he said "i got to crack the tiles to break the seal" i said "ok,i'm gonna lick her ear and play with her boobs while i'm waiting" he s  read more »

Do you want to here a good joke? Women's rights.

what do you call the artist with the brown fingers.
a: pic-ass-o

An old woman is going up in a lift in a very Iavish department store when a young, beautiful woman gets in, smelling of expensive scent. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly "Romance by Ralph Lauren, £100 a bottle."
Then another young woman gets in the lift, She also turns to the old woman and says snootily "Chanel No 5, £150 a bottle."
A few floors later, the old woman has reached her destination. As she gets out, she looks both woman in the eye, then turns round, bends over and farts, saying "Broccoli, 25p a pound."