Men & Women jokes

When a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment...When a woman talks dirty to a man it's $3.95 a minute.

Men are like Bank Accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much Interest.

What type of watch do you get a women?
You don't need to there is one on the cooker!

Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from -
Girl: Heaven? Awwww :')
Boy: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down.
Girl: ....

johnny walks in to the bathroom whenn mummy is in the shower and sees her breasts and vagina so he askes what is that mummy so the mum says it is a bush. then he askes what are those mummy so she says there headlights son. then johnny sees daddy in the shower and sees his penis and dad says it is a snake.  read more »

yo mama so fat when she walk the floor bounce

yo mama so poor she only takes a bath when it rains

Once this fat woman went to the movies and asked an innocent man "Is this seat taken?" and he said "No, your fine!" So then she sat down and the man went BOOSH!!!! 40 feet because the obese woman managed for her belly to smack him across the room! "OUCH! Hope he didn't die!" The woman said. (Started out as a comic!)

What's the diffrence between a bar of chocolate and a vibrator?
One's good for you the other is just for show

my wife slipped stepping out of the shower did the splits and screamed out, i came running in but could'nt get her up her fanny was suchioned to the floor, i rang my handyman mate who said "i'll get a hammer and chisel and be over in 5 mins" i said "what the f****" he said "i got to crack the tiles to break the seal" i said "ok,i'm gonna lick her ear and play with her boobs while i'm waiting" he s  read more »