Medical Jokes

Q. How to cure webbed feet
A. Tip the spiders out of your boots

Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses.

Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist: $100.00.

Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?

Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.

Doctor: Have you ever had this before?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

Patient: 'Doctor, every time I eat fruit I get this strange urge to give people all my money.'
Doctor: 'Would you like an apple or a banana?'

Q: Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill coubord quietly?
A: So she wouldn't wake the sleeping pills!!!

Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?

Doctor: Absolutely nothing!