Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many public opinion researchers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: With what degree of certainty do you need to know?

Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, it only takes one person to use a hammer.

Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two: one to stage a suicide attack on the bulb and another to claim responsibility in phone call to the news media.

Q: How many Radio 1 DJs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to resign over the changes.

Q: How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of the light socket

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.  read more »

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!