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Life Jokes

Parenthood: Changes with Each Baby

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes
-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name
-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.  read more »

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Life's Observations

LIFE'S OBSERVATIONS:

1. Marriage changes passion; suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

2. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea."

3. I have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.

4. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

5. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

6. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

7. The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.  read more »

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Applied mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband  read more »

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