A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Lawyer Jokes

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

Once launched, they can't be recalled.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

No ? Good !

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What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?

What's the difference between lawyers and buzzards?

Lawyers have removable wing tips.

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Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?

Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?

No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

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What's the difference between God and an attorney?

What's the difference between God and an attorney?

God doesn't think he's an attorney.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?

The bucket.

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How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

Other lawyers look interested.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

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