Kids & Family Jokes

q.what did the red trafic light say to the little trafic light say to the little trafic light

A. dont look i'm changing

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, “and why is it necessary to be quiet in church?”
Little Johnny replied, “Because we must not disturb people while sleeping.”

http://www.funeskape.com/jokes/?go=cats&cat=Childrens%20Jokes

you have a match, so what would you light first? the oven, a candle, or a fire.

answer: you would have to light the match first!

?:Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants.

A:Incase he got a hole-in-one

if barbie aint a slut y do i ave to pay for her boyfriend???

littel jimmy puts his hand up in class to go to the bathroom . first you have to say the alfarbeat.
so he goes abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
you miss the pee wheres the pee .
running down my leg replies jimmy!

littel jimmy is send to bed by his dad
5 minutes later: daddddd can i have a glass of water . no son lights out.
5 minutes later: daddddd can i have a glass of water . no son lights out next time if
you ask ill have to spank you.
5 minutes later . dadddd when you spank me can i have a glass of water!

why did the thmomerter go to collage .
a: to get a degree

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.  read more »

A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit, the wife being pregnant with their first child.

After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife's stomach with indelible ink.

The couple was curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the husband got out his magnifying glass to try to see what it was.

In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see me."