Idiot Jokes

Two guys robbed some mangos off this old woman's tree. When they had full hands they hid the mangos in the cemetary. Then they went back to get more. While they were gone 2 other robbers found the huge pile of mangos the other guys hid in the cemetary. The two original robbers came back with more mangoes. They dropped the mangoes when they heard...  read more »

If you are reading this you are an idiot because this is idiot section

he was so ugly he pooped out a flat sreen

In 2009 the goverment will ship all retards away.I started cryn when i thought of you leavin.Be strong and wear your floaty

After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when
they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.

'I'll grant each of you a single wish,' said the genie.

'I wish I was home,' said the first man. Then, poof! he disappeared.

'I wish I was home, too,' said the second man. Poof! He disappeared too.

The third man looked around. 'Gee, I'm kind of lonely,' he said. 'I wish my friends were here with me.'

See if you can do this. Read each line aloud without making any mistakes. If you make a mistake you MUST start over or it won't work.

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is moron cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top...

The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S.

The following are this year's candidates:  read more »

Investigating a purse snatching, Brunswick, Georgia, detectives picked up a man who fit the thief's description and drove him back to the scene. He was told to exit the car and face the victim for an I.D. The suspect dutifully eyed the victim, and blurted, "Yeah, that's the woman I robbed."

Elsewhere...

In Nashville, they tell of Fred "Bubba" Johnson, the burglar who fell asleep on the sofa of the home he was robbing, only to be awakened by police.

Meanwhile...  read more »

These "Weird Reference Questions" are from the Library Paraprofessionals Listserv. All of these are real and provide proof that a "better idiot" can be invented.

"Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"

"Do you have that book by Rushdie: 'Satanic Nurses'?" (Actual title: "Satanic Verses")

"I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $
39.
95. Do you know which one it is?"

"Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?" hahahaha...what a bone head!  read more »