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Heaven & Hell Jokes

Einstein dies and goes to heaven

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him,

"You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to
sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome
to heaven!"  read more »

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Is There Baseball In Heaven?

Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."

The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies.  read more »

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God Explaining Women

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

GOD says, "So they would love you!"

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Three men arrive at the gates of heaven...

Three men arrive at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks the first man,"Religion?"
The first man replies, "Episcopalian."

St. Peter looks down his list and says, "go to room 24. But be very quiet as you pass room 8."To the second man St. Peter asks, "Religion."
The second man replies "Methodist."

St. Peter looks down his list and says, "Go to room 14. But be very quiet as you pass room 8."To the third man St. Peter asks. "Religion."
The third man replies, "Baptist."

St. Peter looks down his list and says. "Go to room 21. But be very quiet as you pass room 8."  read more »

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