Heaven & Hell Jokes

mummy,mummy why are we pushing the car offthe cliff? shut up or you'll wake your father

yo mamma is so white when she went to heaven she blended in like a ghost

yo mamma is so white when she went to heaven she blended in like a ghost

yo momma so ugly she joined an ugly contest,they said sorry"no professionals

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how do u spell ackmed? said a bloke in a bar, and ackmed said, ......a.....c....flem.......m......e......d!

ok so there is a blonde, brown, and a red head,and they want to get to heaven.there was 100,000 steps to heaven.So god told them he was going to tell them a joke on each step and if they laughed the couldn't go to heaven. So on the first step the brown head laughed on the 55,000th step the blonde laughed.  read more »

Bob dies and finds himself in hell. While he's wallowing in self pity, he stumbles across a demon.

Demon: Why so glum?
Man: Why'd you think? I'm in hell!
Demon: Aww, hells not so bad. Actually, we have a lot of fun!
Man: ...huh?
Demon: Do you drink?
Man: Yes...  read more »

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him.
"Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you."  read more »

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."

St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, "How many people died on the ship?"  read more »