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Entertainment Jokes

Have you seen Ray Charles' wife?

Have you seen Ray Charles ' wife ?

Neither has he !

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What's the difference between Princess Di and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Q: What's the difference between Princess Di and Thomas the Tank Engine?

A: Thomas the Tank Engine made it through the tunnel!

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Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed

Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.

* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.

* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.

* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.

* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo."  read more »

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How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?

How do you piss off Winnie the Pooh?

By sticking your finger in his honey.

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One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.

"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What can I do about this?"

"Have you tried sandpaper?" Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.

"Pinnochio," said Gepetto a few weeks later. "How is the problem work out with your

"Girlfriend?" said Pinnochio. "Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?"

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The three remaining members of Pink Floyd...

The three remaining members of Pink Floyd get in a car wreck and all three die. They are standing in front of the Pearly Gates when St. Peter comes up and says, "Oh, Hi guys! We've been expecting you. Your really going to love it here, this is a great place and did you know that we even have our own band? We have Elvis Presley singing, Hendrix is playing guitar, Sinatra is on piano and Roger Waters, your old bandmate, is writing lyrics for us!"

David Gilmour replies, "Roger is here? When did he die?"  read more »

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What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

Q: What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

A: Dough-nuts

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What dessert doesn't Puff Daddy/P. Diddy eat any more?

What dessert doesn't Puff Daddy/P. Diddy eat any more?

Jello (j-Lo)

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You're so stupid you thought Puff Daddy...

You're so stupid you thought Puff Daddy was a brand of cigarettes.

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What do you get when you cross P. Diddy with Kenny G.?

What do you get when you cross P. Diddy with Kenny G.?

An aneurysm.

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