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Entertainment Jokes

How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One, two, one, two, three, four!

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A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater...

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you''re only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn''t budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don''t get up from there, I''m going to have to call the manager."  read more »

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For the first time in many years...

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."

"Well, sir," the attendant replied with a grin, "You're really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now."

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A drunk guy is walking down the street...

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

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What's the difference between Mick Jagger and the friend of a lonely Scotsman?

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and the friend of a lonely Scotsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" And the friend of a lonely Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off my ewe!"

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Why wouldn't the members of N'Sync join the cast of Survivor?

Why wouldn't the members of N'Sync join the cast of Survivor?

Because they know the one kicked off "Is Gonna Be Me."

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How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He's the one with the sesame seed buns!

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Have you seen Ray Charles' wife?

Have you seen Ray Charles ' wife ?

Neither has he !

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What's the difference between Princess Di and Thomas the Tank Engine?

Q: What's the difference between Princess Di and Thomas the Tank Engine?

A: Thomas the Tank Engine made it through the tunnel!

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Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed

Planet of the Apes: Secrets Revealed

* Silicon-enhanced chests and lips reveal that humans are not only "as innovative as they are cruel," but pretty vain as well.

* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.

* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.

* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.

* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo."  read more »

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