Entertainment Jokes

There were five thousand Smurfs, and one Smurfette, and she screwed each one seven times. Enter 5000+1 times 7 in a calculator to see what Smurfette was...

A little kid walks into a movie theater one day. At the counter, he buys one ticket and then goes in. All of a sudden, he comes back out and buys another one. The man at the counter asks 'Why do you want another one?' The kid replies 'Because that man over there ripped the other one!'

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

In the movie, "Lord of the Rings" why does the Ring of Power glow?

Because it gets fingered by the Hobbit.

Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie — a travel documentary about the Netherlands?

It's called ''Mr. Opie's Holland.''

What do Roseanne and a battleship have in common?

They both need three tugs to get into their slips.

In "Fellowship of the Rings," what did Sauron say to Frodo?

"You're a hard hobbit to break!"

The seven dwarves were on a bus, they started to feel Sleepy so he got off.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.

When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.  read more »