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Entertainment Jokes

The seven dwarves were on a bus...

The seven dwarves were on a bus, they started to feel Sleepy so he got off.

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There was once a young man...

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.

When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

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Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God...

Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.  read more »

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Three Little Ducks

A man walks into a bar with three little ducks and sits each of them on a stool, he looks up at the bartender and says, "Could you mind my ducks while I go use the phone?" The bartender is puzzled, but he doesn't see a problem and agrees to look after the three little ducks.  read more »

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Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion...

Tarzan gets into a huge fight with a lion in the jungles of Africa. The lion is defeated, but not before it rips off Tarzan's arm, eye, and dick. Of course, Tarzan's jungle friends help him out by giving him the parts he needs -- the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a dick. A while later, Cheeta the Chimp asks Tarzan how his new parts are working out for him.

"Tarzan like. With new eye, can see far. With new arm, Tarzan strong. But no like new wee-wee."

"Why's that?"

"It keep taking weeds and shoving in Tarzan's ass."

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What were Tarzan's last words?

Q: What were Tarzan's last words?

A: Who greased the viiiiiiiine?

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She is so blonde that...

She is so blonde that she thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train."

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She is so blonde that...

She is so blonde that it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."

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Why was Raggedy Ann kicked out of the toybox?

Q: Why was Raggedy Ann kicked out of the toybox?

A: Because she sat on Pinnochio's face and told him to lie!

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Did you hear about the new magazine for married men published by "Playboy"?

Q. Did you hear about the new magazine for married men published by "Playboy"?

A. It has the same pictures month after month after month after month after month....

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