Entertainment Jokes

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Britney Spears.

Britney Spears who?

Britney spears my eyes with her brand new pointed titties.

Why do smurfs laugh as they walk through the forest?

Because the grass tickles their balls!

You might be a redneck Jedi if you say, "Luke I am your father... and your brother."

Next on Entertainment Tonight, celebrity birthdays: Mariah Carey's breasts are 2 years old!

Due to a mixup on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony.

Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."

Not to be outdone, Britney ripped a $1000 bill in half and threw it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."  read more »

What is 200 feet long and has no pubic hair?

The front row at an 'N Sync concert.

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.  read more »

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

To smoke some marijuana

Jack got high

Pulled down his fly

And Jill said I don't wanna!

1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.
4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.  read more »

Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

He was caught playing with his broomstick.