Entertainment Jokes

What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common?
They're both 100 percent plastic.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Santa?

Nothing, they both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks!

A number of years ago, in Belfast, a man was accosted by some ruffians.
"Catholic or Protestant?" he was queried in a threatening manner.
Not knowing which group had stopped him, the man cleverly replied:
"Atheist!"
The head of the toughs moved in closer and snarled:
"Yes, but which God don't you believe in, the Catholic or the Protestant one?"

George Bush is so stupid, he went to a concert and waved to Stevie Wonder.

Q: Why do they make glow in the dark condoms?

A: So that gay men can play Star Wars.

When the media does it, it's called "news coverage." When an individual does it, it's called "stalking."

One Monday morning, Grover picking up the kids along a new bus route. At the first stop, he picked up a fat little girl. Grover asked, "What's your name?" "Patty" she replied. She had a seat in the back of the bus.
On the next stop there was a handicapped boy named Ross. All the kids called him "Special Ross."
Then a young man named Lester Cheese loaded onto the bus, sat down, took off his shoes and began picking at his bunyons.
Finally the last stop came up, and another chubby little girl got on. Grover had never met her, so he asked her her name and her name was also Patty.  read more »

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette

"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic gold medalist in luge, 1966)  read more »

Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
It kept saying ''Bach, Bach, Bach...''

A regular guy and Tyra Banks are the only survivors of a shipwreck. They somehow find themselves on a deserted island. At first, Tyra wants nothing to do with the very average guy, but after a while they become friends, then lovers.

One day the guy asks Tyra to dress in his clothes and meet him on the other side of the island. Tyra is taken aback by the request, but eventually decides there is no harm in it and agrees. She waits for him on the beach, and he soon arrives. He runs up to her, breathless and excited.

"You'll never believe who I have been screwing!"