A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Entertainment Jokes

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger

Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Mickey and Minnie have been having problems...

Mickey and Minnie have been having problems for some time now and after hearing of Barbie and Ken's break up, they too decide to call it quits. Donald goes to Mickey to console him and says, "She's been a problem since day one. I'm glad you finally saw that she's crazy." Mickey looks at Donald and replies, "No, I broke up with her because she's fucking goofy"

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

When Mozart passed away...

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Did you hear about the X-rated murder mystery?

Did you hear about the X-rated murder mystery?

In the end, everybody did it!

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

The Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were camping out one night. Tonto, after having a very bad dream, woke up to see the stars up above him. He woke the Lone Ranger and said to him, "What you think?" The Lone Ranger replies reassuringly, "Well, Tonto, it's like this, God gives us miracles in life. Each day is a new beginning, just like every night there's a new star in the sky. What do you think?" Tonto looks at him, confused and says, "Tonto thinks someone stole tento."

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Why was Oprah stopped at the airport?

Q: Why was Oprah stopped at the airport?

A: She was getting arrested for carrying 300lbs of crack in her pants.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

What did the hobbit say to the elf?

Q: What did the hobbit say to the elf?

A: You better come and hide in the Shire before the geeks create a movie so they can spend late nights sitting around watching hours of video in costumes with hair on their feet in hopes of creating a safe haven of some kid named Oliver’s basement from the cold and lonely world, which only seems to shun them for the modest layer of tape around their glasses.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

THE DAILY SHOW HEADLINES

AUSTIN CITY LIMITS

As the Democratic Party hones its campaign strategy for next year's election, it might look to Austin, Texas, where Democrats are facing off against Republicans using a strategy experts have dubbed "running like hell."

Fifty-three legislators from the Texas House of Representatives bolted for the Oklahoma state line to prevent a vote that would redraw voting districts to favor the Republican House Majority.  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Did you hear about the blonde...

Did you hear about the blonde who was so stupid she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center?

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None
Syndicate content