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Entertainment Jokes

What's the difference between Simba and O.J. Simpson?

What's the difference between Simba and O.J. Simpson?

One's an African lion, and the other's a lion African.

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Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.  read more »

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One day Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Pierce Brosnan...

One day Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Pierce Brosnan were in a jungle in order to take some shots for a movie. Unfortunately, they were caught by a tribal group. As they were about to be executed they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for her mercy. She said, "Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed." The three stars looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food  read more »

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Things In Football That Sound Dirty - But Aren't

20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.
19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind.
18. He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow.
17. It's a game of inches.
16. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.
15. When you get down in this area, you just gotta start pounding.
14. He's gonna feel that one tomorrow.
13. He found his tight end.
12. End around.
11. He had to stretch to get it in.
10. He gets penetration in the backfield.
9. He blows them off (at the line).
8. He bangs it in.
7. He could go all the way.  read more »

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Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?

Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?

To boldy go where no man has gone before!

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What is Tupac spelled backwards?

Q : What is Tupac spelled backwards ?

A : Caput !

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A husband and wife...

A husband and wife are watching "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire," and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."
The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.
So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes.
The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"

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Why did Pepsi hire Britney Spears to do their commercial instead of Coke?

Why did Pepsi hire Britney Spears to do their commercial instead of Coke?

Because then would have had to change their slogan from "It's the real thing".

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There once was a toad...

There once was a toad that was excluded from all Green Toad activities because he was a handsome shade of yellow. So he went to visit a beautiful fairy in the town over who had the power to grant wishes.

"Fairy," he said. "I would like to be green, so I can play with all the other toads."

"Granted!" said the fairy, who turned him yellow. Unfortunately, his little toady penis was still yellow.

"What about my penis?" he asked the fairy.  read more »

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There once was a toad...

There once was a toad who was a bit different than all the other toads in the neighborhood. You see, he had a yellow penis. Since he wanted to be like all the other toads, he decides to go to the local wizard. He says, "Wizard, I wanna have a brown penis, just like all the other toads."
"You'll have to go to the wizard in Kansas, cuz I can't help you" says the wizard.
So the wizard gives him directions and the toad is on his way.

The next day, an elephant came in that had a pink penis, unlike all the other elephants, and he wanted the wizard to make it grey.  read more »

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