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Entertainment Jokes

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter eat Brittany Spears?

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter eat Brittany Spears?

He doesn't like artificial toppings.

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Quotes About the French

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." - Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." - Rush Limbaugh

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?" - Dennis Miller

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates Americans, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." - Conan O'Brien

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What do you call Jennifer Lopez falling down the stairs?

What do you call Jennifer Lopez falling down the stairs?
A ho down.

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One day a little boy asks his mom questions about God...

One day a little boy asks his mom questions about God. He goes up to his mother and asks, "Well, son, he''''s a boy and a girl"

Not really know what to say the mother just says, "Well, son, he''''s black and white."

So he asks his mother, "Mom, is God black or white?"

Again not really knowing what to say, the mother tells her son, "Well ,son, he''''s black and white."

So the little boy looks at his mother as though he finally understands and says, "Ohhhh, I didn''''t know that God was Michael Jackson!"

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What do Brittany Spears and PEPSI have in common?

What do Brittany Spears and PEPSI have in common?
They both have plastic juggs.

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People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize

1. Britney Spears & Eminem
Who, combined, have written more books than they''ve read.

2. Dr. Phil Mcgraw
Who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues.

3. America''s Oil Companies
For a lifetime body of work proving that oil and water don''t mix.

4. Yasser Arafat & Ariel Sharon
For those 2 consecutive days last March when no Israelis or Palestinians killed each other.

5. Bill Gates  read more »

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My computer is like Britney Spears

My computer is like Britney Spears: cheap, white, and plastic.

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P. Diddy, Britney Spears, and Eminem

P. Diddy, Britney Spears, and Eminem all die and go to hell. The devil took Britney in his hands and she melted into a puddle. Then he took P. Diddy in his hands and he melted into a puddle. Then he took Eminem into his hands, but he didn't melt. The devil said, "why didn't you melt like the other two?"
He said, "Because Eminem melts in your mouth, not your hands."

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Scribbled across a restroom wall

Scribbled across a restroom wall:
God is dead - Nietzsche

Underneath that:
Nietzsche is dead - God

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What do you get when you play country music backwards?

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get back your wife, your dog, your truck...

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