A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Blonde Jokes

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding...

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Couldn't learn to water ski...

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

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A smart blonde and a dumb blonde both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?

A smart blonde and a dumb blonde both jump off a cliff at the same time. Who lands first?

The dumb blonde because smart blondes don't exist.

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Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer?

Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer?  read more »

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NEW INVENTIONS BY BLONDES

NEW INVENTIONS BY BLONDES:

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlight

Submarine screen door  read more »

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A very large, old, building was being torn down...

A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.

While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft.

They decided that they should call the police. When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said, "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."  read more »

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?  read more »

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A blonde went in the library...

A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said, "I would like a cheeseburger."

The librarian replied,"Shh! This is a library!" The blonde blushed. "oh, sorry.." then she whispered, "I would like a cheeseburger."

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A blonde guy was sitting in a bar...

A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian." The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of Lesbia are you from?"

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?

How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?  read more »

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