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Blonde Jokes

blonde and a brunette

one day there was a blonde and a brunette walking down the street the brunette says to the blonde "oh look a dead bird" so the blond looks up.

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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs...

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town called Weipa. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.  read more »

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How does a blonde change a lightbulb?

How does a blonde change a lightbulb?

She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

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How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

Fertilized.

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How does a blond turn on the light after sex?

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?  read more »

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Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?

Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed?

He wanted to see what he looked like asleep.

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Blonde Questions & Answers

Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.

Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.

Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.  read more »

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Why do blondes wear earmuffs?

Why do blondes wear earmuffs ?

To avoid the draft .

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding...

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Couldn't learn to water ski...

Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".

Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

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