Bar Room Jokes

a man walks into a bar sits down and orders a beer.
he notices a big glass jar on the bar full of 50 doller bills, and it has a sign on it "win the money". the guy asks the bar tender what he has to to do to win the money., bar tender says "i got a horse in the back, if you can make him laff you can keep the jar.  read more »

a man walks into a bar sits down and orders a beer.
he notices a big glass jar on the bar full of 50 doller bills, and it has a sign on it "win the money". the guy asks the bar tender what he has to to do to win the money., bar tender says "i got a horse in the back, if you can make him laff you can keep the jar.  read more »

i dont drink smoke or swear.

f.ck i left my smokes at the bar

This man with slight mental problems walks into a bar, to see three other men.
This man's mental problems is that he is very random.
So he walks up to the first guy, with brown hair, who is sober, and touches his nose and says, "Bip, bop on the nose." The guy gives him a funny look.  read more »

we all know that women with big boobs work at hooters!!! right so where does one work with one leg???
Answer: I-hop

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

A seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.

The bartender asks the seal, "What's your pleasure?"

The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque."  read more »

A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.

Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"  read more »

3 guys go into a bar. The booze begins to flow pretty heavily in the course of the evening and the guys get split up. Next morning they're all at work discussing what went on after they lost one other...

The first guy says, "Man I was so trashed last night I went home and blew chunks!"

The second goes, "Shit that's nothing I was so tanked that I drove my damn car into a tree. Totaled it. I have no idea what the cops are going to do!"  read more »