A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Animal Jokes

What do you call an elephant between two buildings?

Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings?

A: Stuck

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Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and they're by a zebra crossing

Two hedgehogs are in the middle of the road and they're by a zebra crossing. One says, "Don't cross here!"

The other one says, "Why not?"

The first one says, "Look what happened to this zebra!"

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A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping...

A guy walks into a store for some last-minute Christmas shopping, and sees a parrot for sale.

He asks the clerk what the parrot's name is and the clerk tells him it's Chet. He also tells the man that this is one amazing parrot. If you put a match under his left foot, it sings "Jingle Bells," and if you put a match under its right foot, it sings "Deck the Halls."

The man thinks that is the coolest thing he's ever seen, so he decides to buy it for his wife. So he gets home, and puts it away.  read more »

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What did the one shepherd say to the other shepherd?

What did the one shepherd say to the other shepherd?

Let's get the flock out of here!

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A man staggers into an emergency room

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wifes golf ball......stuck right in the middle of the cows butt. Thats when I made my mistake."  read more »

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Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat?
A: Because he was pissed off!

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What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?

Q: What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
A: An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!

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A bear walks into a bar...

A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a bourbon and....a coke", the bartender asks “what’s with the huge pause?"
The bear say "I’ve had them all my life."

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Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because he was stuck to the chicken's foot

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Their middle names

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