Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a centipide with a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To have hot sex with the perverted farmer.

Q. What animal should you never play cards with?

A. A cheetah!

Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?

A. She drowns it!!

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?

A: To get to the Shell station

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

A: Dam

Who dun it?

You know you're a redneck if your dog farts and you take the credit.

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

A grey goose walks into a bar and says" I'd like a scotch on the rocks." The bartender looks at the goose funny, but goes to get him his drink anyway. The bartender continues to look at the goose so the goose asks, " Hey, what's your deal? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" The bartender says, "Besides the fact that you are a talking goose? Well I actually have a drink named after you? The grey goose replies, "You have a drink named Fred?"

A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse me, may I have a bum, please?" The baker laughs and says, "Oh, you must mean a bun, sure, here you go." The Mexican next goes to the hardware store. He asks the clerk, "Excuse me, can I get a fucket here?" The clerk laughs and says, "Oh, you must mean a bucket. Of course!" The Mexican then goes to a pet shop. He asks the manager, "May i have a Cockandspankit?" The manager laughs and says. "I think i misunderstood you, you must mean a Cockerspaniel. On his way home, the Mexican loses the leash on his dog.  read more »