A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Animal Jokes

What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

Q: What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall?

A: Dam

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Who dun it?

Who dun it?

You know you're a redneck if your dog farts and you take the credit.

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How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

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A grey goose walks into a bar

A grey goose walks into a bar and says" I'd like a scotch on the rocks." The bartender looks at the goose funny, but goes to get him his drink anyway. The bartender continues to look at the goose so the goose asks, " Hey, what's your deal? Why do you keep looking at me like that?" The bartender says, "Besides the fact that you are a talking goose? Well I actually have a drink named after you? The grey goose replies, "You have a drink named Fred?"

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A Mexican walks into a bakery

A Mexican walks into a bakery and asks, "Excuse me, may I have a bum, please?" The baker laughs and says, "Oh, you must mean a bun, sure, here you go." The Mexican next goes to the hardware store. He asks the clerk, "Excuse me, can I get a fucket here?" The clerk laughs and says, "Oh, you must mean a bucket. Of course!" The Mexican then goes to a pet shop. He asks the manager, "May i have a Cockandspankit?" The manager laughs and says. "I think i misunderstood you, you must mean a Cockerspaniel. On his way home, the Mexican loses the leash on his dog.  read more »

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Little pigs

The first little pig walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the restroom. "Right down that hallway, the first door to your right. You can't miss it," says the bartender.

The second little pig walks into the bar, and asks for directions to the restroom. "Right down that hallway, the first door to your right. You can't miss it," says the bartender.

The third pig walks in, and follows suit. As does the fourth. The fifth little pig walks in, and before he is given a chance to speak, the bartender says, "Do you need directions to the restroom too?"  read more »

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What are the two main political parties in Canada?

Q: What are the two main political parties in Canada?

A: Moose and Squirrel

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What's the difference between a dead lawer in the middle of the road and a dead rattlesnake in the middle of the road?

Q: What's the difference between a dead lawer in the middle of the road and a dead rattlesnake in the middle of the road?

A: There is skid marks before the snake.

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When Jane initially met Tarzan

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him, and
during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex."Tarzan
not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh,...Tarzan use hole in
trunk of tree."

Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong,...but I will show you
how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and lay down on the
ground. "Here" she said,
"you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his
considerable manhood, stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right  read more »

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Two guys were driving down the road

Two guys were driving down the road when they saw a goat with its head stuck in a fence.
"Hey man pull over here," said one of the guys. "I want to go screw this goat." He does, and when he is done he says, "Okay, now it's your turn." So his friend sticks his own head in the fence.

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