Animal Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Don't ask us, ask the chicken!

A snail owned a car and was painting a big letter 'S' on it. His friend the turtle saw him and asked why and the snail replied, "When people see me drive by they can, 'Say look at the S-car-go".

Q: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A: A pouch potato.

Q: What drug was the duck on?

A: Qwack !

Yo mama's so dumb she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.

What did the father buffalo say to the son buffalo when he left for school?

Bison!

Yo mama so ugly, that when she wore Pepper Jack panties, even the rats wouldn't eat her.

What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows?

A milk sheik!

Why do people in vermont were kilts?

Sheep can hear zippers from a mile away.

One day mama bear and papa bear were getting a divorce. The judge decided that baby bear was going to live with mama bear.
Baby bear started to cry . "Whats wrong?" the judge asked baby bear.
"I dont want to live with mama bear, she abuses me!" said baby bear.
"Then, you can live with papa bear" said the judge.
Baby bear started to cry even harder the judge asked him, "Whats wrong?" Baby bear replied, " I dont want to live with papa bear he abuses me even more than mama bear does."
"Then who do you want to live with?" asked the judge.  read more »