A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Animal Jokes

Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?

Why didn't the elephant like to play cards in the jungle?
Because there were too many cheetahs.

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You might be a redneck if you think fast food...

You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 miles an hour.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

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What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat?

What do you get when you cross a Scottish sheep with a Peruvian Mountain Goat?

The Dolly Llama.

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Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the veterinarian's. One of
the dogs was hanging its head and sighing. The second dog turned to him
and asked "What are you in here for, buddy?" The dog looked depressed,
"I'm in big trouble", he said, "My owner has a really nice sports car with
leather seats. I just love to go for rides in it. Well, the other day, he
took me for a ride and I was so excited, I pee'd on the nice leather seat.
Now he's having me put to sleep."

"I know how you feel", said the second dog. "My owners have a beautiful,  read more »

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.

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Why did the sheep cross the road?

Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the Baa Baa Shop for a haircut.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar.

A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the bartender, "Blood is the lipstick of all wounds."

The bartender does not know how he said this, or why.

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A guy found a sheep...

A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.

The policeman said, "Take that sheep to the zoo, now."

Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.

The policeman stops the guy and says, "What on earth are you doing with that sheep?"

The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I''m taking him to the movies."

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What is green and jumps from bed to bed?

Q: What is green and jumps from bed to bed?
A: A prostitoad.

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