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Animal Jokes

A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station

A firefighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. The boy is wearing a firefighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat.

The firefighter says, "Hey little partner, what are you doing?"

The little boy says, "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck."

The firefighter walks over to take a closer look. That's sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter says with admiration.

"Thanks mister," the boy says.  read more »

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

What do you call a sleeping bull ?

A bulldozer .

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Two nuns from France were coming to New York...

Two nuns from France were coming to New York.
While awaiting their landing, one nun looks at the other and says, "Over here in America, they have strange customs."

"Really? Like what?" says the other.

"Over here, they eat dogs."

Astounded, the other gasps, "DOGS! No way! Really?"

"Yeah, they sure do."

"Well, I guess we'll have to just get us some so that we can try to fit in."

After they landed, they went to Central Park to a hot dog stand and ordered.

"Two dogs, please!" the nuns said.

Afterwards, they went to a park bench to eat their dogs.  read more »

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What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
DAM!

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Why did the dog cross the road?

Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.

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A black cow was standing in the middle of the road...

A black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was hauling ass around a corner with no headlights on, no dome light, no lights on at all. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the cow. How did the guy see the cow?

It was daytime

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Why did the horse cross the road?

Why did the horse cross the road?
To reach his Nay-borhood.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he had no body to go with.

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Why did the one-handed skeleton cross the road?

Why did the one-handed skeleton cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop!

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