Animal Jokes

A boy sat under a cow and what did he get?

a pat on the head!!!!

DID YOU GET IT!!!!Pat is cow poo

sorry if it is afencive

There was a mosquito and a dog who loved each other a lot.

One day the mosquito got excited and gave a love bite to the dog.

The dog became emotional and returned the love bite to the mosquito.

The next day…

Mosquito died of rabies and dog died of malaria…!!!!!

What a touching story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.funeskape.com/jokes/?go=cats&cat=Animal%20Jokes

Q. WHAT DID THE FEMAIL SNAIL SAY 2 THE MALE SNAIL WHEN THEY WERE HAVING SEX

A. FASTER FASTER FASTER

Why did the chicken cross th road???

To get away from K.F.C a.k.a kentucky fried chicken. ha ha ha ha :)

There Is A Normall Rooster a Dumb Rooster and a gay Rooster.
The Normall Roster says "Cock A Doodle doo"
The Dumb Rooster Says "Doodle Doodle Cock"
The Gay Rooster Says "Any Cock Will Do"

Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful daughter. The king agrees to give them a chance, but they must perform three difficult tasks: defeat an ogre, turn lead to gold, and screw a cow. The first man dies fighting the ogre, the second fails at turning lead to gold, but the third man successfully completes all three tasks.
"Congratulations!" says the king. "You may now have my daughter's hand in marriage."
"Screw that," says the man. "I want the cow."

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."

"I'm sorry, I still didn't undersftand you."

The successful man spits something into his hand. "You've got to keep your worms warm."

These 2 hunters was hunting one day and this one hunter fainted. The other hunter didn't know what to do, so he called 911. When the person answered the hunter told them that his partner was dead. The person on the other end said calm down and make sure your partner was dead and all of a sudden the person heard a gun shot and the hunter came back on the line and said ok he's dead for sure.

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. Right away they go over to the bird section.

Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem"

The assistant comes over and asks if he can help them.

"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere birds in dat cage op dere" says Gerry,
"Put dem in a "peeper bag"

The assistant does and the two guys pay for the birds and leave the shop.
They get into Gerry's van and drive until they are high up in the hills and
stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.

"Dis looks loike a grand place. Eh?" says Gerry.  read more »

A little boy, wearing a big red fire hat, was riding a toy fire truck down the street. The truck was being pulled by a beautiful Labrador Retriever. Unfortunately, the rope was tied around the dog's privates, and as a consequence, the truck was going very slowly. A man walking down the street noticed how slowly the boy was being pulled and gently said to him, "You know, son, that truck would go a lot faster if the rope was tied around your dog's neck."
The boy nodded in agreement and said, "But then there wouldn't be a siren."