A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Scribbled across a restroom wall

Scribbled across a restroom wall:
God is dead - Nietzsche

Underneath that:
Nietzsche is dead - God

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What did the Barbie doll say to Britney Spears?

Q: What did the Barbie doll say to Britney Spears?

A: Hey, you don't have a bra on!

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What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

Q: What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

A: Dough-nuts

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She is so blonde that...

She is so blonde that it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."

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Why did the Pillsbury doughgirl get pregnant???

Why did the Pillsbury doughgirl get pregnant???

The doughboy forgot his weenie wrap

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You might be a redneck Jedi if you say...

You might be a redneck Jedi if you say, "Luke I am your father... and your brother."

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Famous People Say the Darndest Things

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette

"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic gold medalist in luge, 1966)  read more »

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Things I Learned From Movies

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.  read more »

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Aussies

Q. Why are Australians like kiwifruit?

A. Because they are rough on the outside, green on the inside..... and too many of them will give you the shits!

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Chinese Goer

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.  read more »

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