A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Two hobbits walk into a bar...

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel; the first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"

In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?" The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn''t do it."

The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"

"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

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What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?

Q: What did Spock find in the Enterprise's toilet?

A: The Captain's log.

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A drunk guy is walking down the street...

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

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Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie...

Have you heard about Ron Howard's new movie — a travel documentary about the Netherlands?

It's called ''Mr. Opie's Holland.''

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Hollywood Lessons

1. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
2. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
3. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach the armpit level of a woman, but only the waist level of the man lying beside her.
4. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.  read more »

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What happened when Snoopy found out his girl cheated on him?

Q: What happened when Snoopy found out his girl cheated on him?

A: He bitch-slapped her.

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How can you tell when Barbie has her period?

Q: How can you tell when Barbie has her period?

A: Your tic tacs are missing.

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Bragging about Japan

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan!"

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan!"  read more »

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Wanna Hear A Polish Joke?

Guy walks into a bar, sits downs and starts to make conversation with guy at next table. "Want to hear the worlds's worst Polish Joke?"

#2 says "Sure, but before you tell it, let me tell you something. See those two bikers over there by the door-real mean motherfuckers-??? They're Polish. And those two bouncers by the bar? They're Polish too! The Bartender?? Polish!! And one more thing pal, I'm Polish too!!! Now..... still want to tell that joke?"

"Hell no!", replies #1, "I don't want to have to explain it 6 times!"

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Two Dogs....

The young Indian boy had spent most of his life in a quandry... He felt different yet... couldn't figure why... he was just so depressed. He went to the Chief for answers... He asked the chief how his brother Red Deer Running had gotten his name...

The chief answered in his typically poetic way..."When Red Deer Running was born, at the moment of his birth, the first thing his mother saw was a beautiful deer running off into the forest... and so Running Deer was named. It is the custom of our tribe to name the offspring according to the spirits in nature visiting upon the birth."  read more »

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