A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Don't ask us, ask the chicken!

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How do you talk to a fish?

How do you talk to a fish?

You drop him a line.

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What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
DAM!

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Once upon a time there were three little pigs...

Once upon a time there were three little pigs.

The straw pig, the stick pig, and the brick pig.

One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pigs house and said "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!!

So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said, "Please let me in, the wolf just blew down my house."

So the stick pig let the straw pig in.

Just then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." And he did!  read more »

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What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

Q: What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

A: Lots of room.

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What are the two main political parties in Canada?

Q: What are the two main political parties in Canada?

A: Moose and Squirrel

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A tourist walks into a curio shop...

A tourist walks into a curio shop and sees a life-like bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the salesmen, "How much?"
The salesman replied, "12 bucks for the rat and 100 bucks for the story."
The tourist says, "I'll just take the rat, thanks."
As soon as the tourist leaves the shop rats started crawling out of the sewers. There were a hundred rats, then a thousand, and then millions.
The tourist was running as fast as he could. He ran to the end of the pier and threw the bronze rat as far out into the lake as he could. All the other rats jumped after it and drowned.  read more »

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Why did God give women more brain cells than cows?

Q: Why did God give women more brain cells than cows?

A: So that women don't shit themselves when you play with their tits.

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One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting.

One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting.
When in the woods he came upon a bear!
The man started running.
And he ran for a while until all of a sudden he
tripped over a tree root.
And at this moment he was almost face to face
with the bear.
Then he said "Dear Lord, if there is one wish I would want for you to give me it would be to
make this bear a christian."
And at that instant.....
The bear halted to a stop and droped on his knees and said
"Dear Lord thank you for the food I am about
to receive"!!

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Ostrich & Pussy Cat

A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat. He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat". They found a table, sat down and drank their drinks.

Next it was the ostrichs round. He walked up to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat". He took the drinks back to the table and they drank them.

When it was the Cat's turn to buy, he told them to "Fuck off!"

So the man went back to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich and whisky for the cat".  read more »

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