A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Why do they make glow in the dark condoms?

Q: Why do they make glow in the dark condoms?

A: So that gay men can play Star Wars.

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Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly...

Two hobbits walk into a bar where one of them picks up a barfly. They taker her to ta local motel. The first hobbit goes into the motel room while the other waits outside. Once the door closes, the hobbit on the outside hears starnge noises through the door, "I can't do it, I can't do it, I CAN'T DO IT!"
In the morning, the second hobbit askes the first, "How did it go?"
The first one answers. "It was embarrassing. I simply couldn't do it."
The second hobbit shook his head. "Manhood problems, eh?"
"No. I couldnt get on the bed!"

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Jewish Girl

Q. How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?

A. She drops her nail file.

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How I got my name?

A Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face.

"Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"?
"Because he was conceived during a mighty storm", she said.

Then he asked "Why is my sister named Cornflower"?
"Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied.

He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"?
"We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived", the mother replies.

The mother paused and said to her son...
"Tell me, Torn Rubber, why are you so curious"

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When Ole quit farming...

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors got together and went over to talk to Ole.  read more »

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Madam.

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam, my finger is stuck in the door!

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How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

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One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.

One day, a guy went into a store, just browsing.

He suddenly saw a statue of a rat made of bronze, and thought that it was interesting. He decided to buy it, and so he did.

The guy walked out of the store, carrying the statue in his arms. Suddenly some rats started following him.

He shrugged it off, and continued on his way.

As he walked along, more and more rats started following him, until all the rats in the city were behind him.

He suddenly realized that it was the statue that was doing this.  read more »

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

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What's the definition of mixed emotions?

What's the definition of mixed emotions?

Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

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