A D V E R T I S E M E N T

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

God Explaining Women

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

GOD says, "So they would love you!"

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Tom Sawyer

Knock Knock
Who's there !
Tom Sawyer
Tom Sawyer who?
Tom saw yer underwear!

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

A young attorney

A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night.

“Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.”

“Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, I gave that to you as an annuity for life.”

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

What do u have when their is a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Q: What do u have when their is a lawyer up to his neck in cement?
A: not enough cement

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?

The bucket.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney...

The Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walked into a room to meet with his accountant.

The Godfather asked the accountant, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The accountant didn't answer.

The Godfather asked again, "Where's the three million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney interrupted, "Sir, the man is a deaf-mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you."

The Godfather said, "Well, ask him where the @#!* money is."

The attorney, using sign language, asked the accountant where the three million dollars was.  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: That's not funny!

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Calculated Risk

Marriage is a big gamble for a man. But for a woman, marriage is no gamble. It's a calculated risk.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said.
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man "There is more than one type?"

"Look Around" said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras" replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types.  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None