A D V E R T I S E M E N T

The Final FBI Test

There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test.

"We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her."  read more »

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Little Rascals Vocabulary Lesson

The little rascals were in class and the teacher was giving them a vocabulary lesson. The teacher said, "Alfalfa, use the word love in a sentence".

Alfalfa replies, "I love Darla".

The teacher said, "Good...now Spanky your word is respect".

Spanky replies, "I respect the way Alfalfa loves Darla".

The teacher said, "Very good! Now Buckweat its your turn, your word is Dictate".

Buckweat replies, "Hey Darla...how did my dictate last night?".

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Four married guys go fishing

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him.  read more »

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The Stella Awards

The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S.

The following are this year's candidates:  read more »

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Spelling Poem

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

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Why is money green?

Why is money green?

Because lawyers pick it up before it is ripe.

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

Once launched, they can't be recalled.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.

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Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor, and a businessman

Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor, and a businessman, belonging to the same exclusive club had made a pact.

When one dies, they agreed, the others will lay $5,000 each on his coffin so he'll have some spending money in the after life.

Well, one day the professor passes away. At his funeral the three friends took turns going up to the coffin and paying their respects.

The doctor was first, laying 50 $100 bills inside the casket.

Next was the businessman, tearfully placing his $5,000 cash next to his deceased friend.  read more »

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Every time I eat fruit...

Patient: 'Doctor, every time I eat fruit I get this strange urge to give people all my money.'
Doctor: 'Would you like an apple or a banana?'

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