A D V E R T I S E M E N T

What you do best!

This suave-looking Redneck, (ok, just pretend there is one) walks into a bar and sees a cute little rich girl who's had too much to drink.

He says to her, "Hey, baby...whataya say we go back to your place and get it on! Lost in her drink, she replies - "Sure, why not!"

They get to her place, and she lies on the bed and says, "Ok, show me what you do best!".

Without delay, the Redneck rips off his jacket, -
grabs her T.V., VCR, and purse and runs out the door!

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Out the window!

There was an American on a buisness trip in England. He got on a train, and was unable to find a seat. The man walked up and down the different cars untill he discovered that an old lady's tiny dog was taking up a whole seat.

So he said to the lady, "Hey, you think you could move your dog? I can't find a seat."

Now this wasn't a nice lady, so she replied, "You rude American! My little poodles needs somewhere to be!"  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

To some - marriage is a word...

To some - marriage is a word ... to others - a sentence.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Lifeboat

After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when
they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.

'I'll grant each of you a single wish,' said the genie.

'I wish I was home,' said the first man. Then, poof! he disappeared.

'I wish I was home, too,' said the second man. Poof! He disappeared too.

The third man looked around. 'Gee, I'm kind of lonely,' he said. 'I wish my friends were here with me.'

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?

What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?

The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse...

Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.

A genie pops out. He says, "I will grant you each one wish, but there's a catch. Whatever you wish for, a lawyer will get 2 times more than that."

The first guy says, "I want a million dollars." The genie says, "Are you sure?" He says yes. *poof* The guy has one million dollars, and a lawyer gets two million.

The second guy says "I want a new car." The genie says, "A lawyer is getting two new cars then."

The guy says, "Oh well. I want my car." *poof* He has a new porche.  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?

When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?

Because deep down, they're really nice guys.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?

What's black and brown and looks good on an attorney?

A doberman pinscher.

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Parenthood: Changes with Each Baby

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes
-1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
-2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
-3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name
-1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None

Valentines Slogans

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!  read more »

0
No votes yet
Your rating: None