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hispanic man

Hispanic man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Hispanic man there. As he sat down,he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The Hispanic man turned around and stood up.

He then said:

"listen Pendejo....when i was born,i was BROWN,"
"When i grew up,i was BROWN,"
"When i'm sick, i'm BROWN,"
"When i go in the sun,i'm BROWN,"
"When I'm cold,i'm BROWN,"
"When i die, i'll be BROWN."

But you pendejo...."

"When you're born,you're pink,"
"When you grow up, you're white,"  read more »

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Looking For Jean Paul

Two Poles, Markowski and Krachevski go to France on a pleasure trip. They meet this Frenchman called Jean Paul and become good pals. Jean Paul finds these two Poles some-what amusing and so he goes all out to make them happy. He treats them at pubs, bars, discotheques.

This goes on for a while until one fine day Jean Paul does not turn up. The Poles assume that some important work would have held him up and do not take a serious note of it. But, perhaps something was serious as Jean Paul does not turn up for next five days.  read more »

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How!

Some years ago, on Times Square in NYC, I observed a native American, in full Indian regalia, feather head dress, buckskin clothes, etc.

As a pretty woman would walk by, he would raise his right hand, in an Indian greeting, and say " Wanna ".

I watched this ritual for about 20 minutes, and I became more curious as he kept making these greetings. Finally, I couldn't resist any longer. I went up to the native American, and said, "I have been watching you, and I am confused. I thought that Indians say "How "

He turned to me, obviously quite annoyed, and said...  read more »

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On a drive in the country

On a drive in the country, a city slicker noticed a farmer lifting a pig up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another.

"Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about," said the city slicker, "but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn't it save a lot of time?"

"Time?" said the farmer. "What does time matter to a pig?"

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One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer...

One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into an iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic."

St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and decided to make the question a little harder, "How many people died on the ship?"  read more »

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Delivering a baby

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.

It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.  read more »

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Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

Yeah, it comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

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Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?

Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?

No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, lawyers only screw us.

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