A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Why can Captain Kirk hear so well?

Why can Captain Kirk hear so well?

Because he has three ears: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

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How did Britney Spears cross the road?

How did Britney Spears cross the road?

With a magic marker

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What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?

What ' s Snoop Dogg ' s favorite weather ?

Drizzle!

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A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater...

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you''re only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn''t budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don''t get up from there, I''m going to have to call the manager."  read more »

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Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

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Back in the days of cowboys and Indians...

Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest.  read more »

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How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

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Cinderella wants to go to the ball...

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

"First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied.  read more »

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The Final FBI Test

There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test.

"We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her."  read more »

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Little Rascals Vocabulary Lesson

The little rascals were in class and the teacher was giving them a vocabulary lesson. The teacher said, "Alfalfa, use the word love in a sentence".

Alfalfa replies, "I love Darla".

The teacher said, "Good...now Spanky your word is respect".

Spanky replies, "I respect the way Alfalfa loves Darla".

The teacher said, "Very good! Now Buckweat its your turn, your word is Dictate".

Buckweat replies, "Hey Darla...how did my dictate last night?".

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