A D V E R T I S E M E N T

Have you heard about the man who did it with a parakeet?

Have you heard about the man who did it with a parakeet?

He contracted chirpes and the worst thing?

It was untweetable

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The Golden Toilet

There was this guy, let's call him bob. One night Bob went to about 5 bars, and he drank, like, 17 beers.

After he was done with that, like any normally functioning person, he really had to go. So he asked the bartender where the bathroom was, and he went to where he thought it was.  read more »

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7 Shots of Vodka!

Man goes to the bar and says "bartender, give me 7 shots of Vodka."
The bartender says "Ok, but pal you are gonna hurt yourself with that." The man says "Just pour them."

The man takes the first shot and the bartender says "Hey, you want to talk about it"? The man says "No!" and drinks the next 2 shots.

The bartender says "Come on and tell me about it I've got a good ear, that's why a lot of people come here for, to tell their troubles."

The man by then has finished the 7 shots and says "Ok, today was my first blowjob." The bartender says "Hey great, have another on the house."  read more »

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The grasshopper joke!

So this grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Hey! Your a grasshopper! We have a drink named after you!".

The grasshopper says "Oh yeah? You have a drink named Leonard?!".

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The drunk

A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.

She jumped up and slapped him silly.

He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.

That's funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her!"

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The Punk and the Old Fart

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, spiked hair and multicolored feather earings.

After a while the punk got mad and said to the old man "What are you staring at?"

"Back when I was in the army I got really drunk one night and fucked a parrot.
I was wondering if you were my son."

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Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car?

Q: Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car?  read more »

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How does a blond turn on the light after sex?

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?  read more »

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Bill Gates

Proof that Bill Gates is the Devil The real name of "the" Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III.
Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where "III" means the order of third (3rd.) By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following:
B 66 I 73 L 76 L 76 G 71 A 65 T 84 E 69 S 83 + 3= 666 !!
Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement??? Before you decide, consider the following:
M S - D O S 6 . 2 1 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666  read more »

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Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The  read more »

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