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Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 20:51.
How did Britney Spears cross the road?
With a magic marker
Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 20:59.
What ' s Snoop Dogg ' s favorite weather ?
Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 21:09.
A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you''re only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn''t budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir," the usher said, "if you don''t get up from there, I''m going to have to call the manager." read more »
Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 21:16.
Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?
A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.
Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 21:21.
Back in the days of cowboys and Indians, toilet paper had just been invented. An Indian, unaware of the new invention, was amazed when he saw a cowboy using it out in the woods. Instead of scalping the cowboy, he offers to let him live if he tells the Indian where he can get some toilet paper. And the cowboy told the Indian about a trading post in the middle of the forest. read more »
Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 21:27.
Q: How did Britney Spears die while drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
Submitted by boloo2 on Thu, 08/07/2008 - 21:33.
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied. read more »
Submitted by boloo2 on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 21:09.
There is an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Ukranian and the are in their final stages of training for the FBI. The agents explained to them their final test.
"We have each one of your wives contained in separate cells and what you guys have to do in order to complete your FBI training is you have to prove your loyalty. You must grab that gun and go into your wifes cell and kill her." read more »
Submitted by boloo2 on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 21:17.
The little rascals were in class and the teacher was giving them a vocabulary lesson. The teacher said, "Alfalfa, use the word love in a sentence".
Alfalfa replies, "I love Darla".
The teacher said, "Good...now Spanky your word is respect".
Spanky replies, "I respect the way Alfalfa loves Darla".
The teacher said, "Very good! Now Buckweat its your turn, your word is Dictate".
Buckweat replies, "Hey Darla...how did my dictate last night?".
Submitted by boloo2 on Fri, 08/08/2008 - 21:38.
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. read more »