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How does a blond turn on the light after sex?

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?  read more »

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Bill Gates

Proof that Bill Gates is the Devil The real name of "the" Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III.
Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates (III), where "III" means the order of third (3rd.) By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following:
B 66 I 73 L 76 L 76 G 71 A 65 T 84 E 69 S 83 + 3= 666 !!
Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Coincidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement??? Before you decide, consider the following:
M S - D O S 6 . 2 1 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666  read more »

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Lone Ranger and Tonto

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The  read more »

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What did the hobbit say to the elf?

Q: What did the hobbit say to the elf?

A: You better come and hide in the Shire before the geeks create a movie so they can spend late nights sitting around watching hours of video in costumes with hair on their feet in hopes of creating a safe haven of some kid named Oliver’s basement from the cold and lonely world, which only seems to shun them for the modest layer of tape around their glasses.

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What is Moby Dick's father's name?

What is Moby Dick' s father's name ?

Papa Boner .

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Why can Captain Kirk hear so well?

Why can Captain Kirk hear so well?

Because he has three ears: a left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

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How did Britney Spears cross the road?

How did Britney Spears cross the road?

With a magic marker

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What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?

What ' s Snoop Dogg ' s favorite weather ?

Drizzle!

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A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater...

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you''re only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn''t budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don''t get up from there, I''m going to have to call the manager."  read more »

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Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

Q: Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?

A: They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

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