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Yo Mama''so fat...

Yo Mama''so fat she was on Jerry Springer and Ricky Lake at the same time.

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What did the man in the big yellow hat have to do every day when Curious George broke a glass or a plate?

What did the man in the big yellow hat have to do every day when Curious George broke a glass or a plate?

Spank his monkey.

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What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?

A: Winnie the Pooh!

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Scribbled across a restroom wall

Scribbled across a restroom wall:
God is dead - Nietzsche

Underneath that:
Nietzsche is dead - God

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What did the Barbie doll say to Britney Spears?

Q: What did the Barbie doll say to Britney Spears?

A: Hey, you don't have a bra on!

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What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

Q: What does the Pillsbury Doughboy have underneath his apron?

A: Dough-nuts

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She is so blonde that...

She is so blonde that it takes her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."

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Why did the Pillsbury doughgirl get pregnant???

Why did the Pillsbury doughgirl get pregnant???

The doughboy forgot his weenie wrap

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You might be a redneck Jedi if you say...

You might be a redneck Jedi if you say, "Luke I am your father... and your brother."

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Famous People Say the Darndest Things

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry Kissinger (former US Secretary of State)

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!' Patricia Arquette

"And God said: "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." George Burns

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." Carmen Boyle (Olympic gold medalist in luge, 1966)  read more »

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